The swan boats are active in the Public Garden’s Lagoon, but where are the real life birds?

Were they deported by ICE because they lacked proper documentation? Were they kidnapped by MAGA zealots because Romo and Juliet were actually a same sex couple?

Turns our that because of behavioral concerns, they were retired to a waterfowl sanctuary in Pennsylvania in 2022.

Given the ongoing avian flu epidemic and the risk it poses to any birds introduced into the Lagoon, the city’s Parks Department has opted not to replace the domesticated swans.

Will swans be like Charlie on the MTA, the Boston resident in the Kingston Trio’s song, who will never return?

There is hope as the city promises to evaluate the situation on a yearly basis.